Fly
by rainlightautumn
Summary: Kurama loved Hiei. Hiei loved Kurama. But, sometimes, love can change. And sometimes, love can hurt. Shonen ai, angst. HK


Hey all. I was sitting in the car with my dad, and then this song came on. Now, I'm not usually one for songfics, but I felt that this song fit the situation I had been thinking about writing for a long, long time. The song is called "Fly" by the Dixie Chicks. If you have never heard this song, I demand that you go and download it or scurry out and buy the CD, because the way in which they sing it totally kicks ass. It's beautiful.  
  
Chibi Luka: On with the fic, Snow.  
  
Oh, yeah, right...I'm babbling again. ^^U Beware for angst. *sigh*  
  
Disclaimer: Yes, I own Yu Yu Hakusho. I won it off of a black-market auction on ebay. AH HAHAHAHAHAHAHAAA!  
  
Muse: . . .  
  
*sigh* Oh, fine. I don't own YYH, nor do I own this song. *pout*  
  
*~...~* indicates song lyrics  
  
*~*~*  
  
Kurama sat upon his window sill, taking in the beauty of the outside world. Rain pelted upon the window, and wind ripped ferociously through the skies, causing a once calm atmosphere to howl in anguish.  
  
A sad, ironic smile found it's place upon Kurama's worn face. His jade eyes lacked their normal healthy shine, and his heart lacked the forced happiness that it had carried for the past few months. Emerald eyes closed, and a sigh escaped the redhead's lips. He had known for a while that this day would come...but why did it have to hurt so much?  
  
Kurama let his head rest against the wall and took a deep, calming breath. He ignored his bleeding heart, telling himself that he had waited far too long already. Tonight was the night.  
  
*~Ain't no talking to this man  
  
Ain't no pretty other side  
  
Ain't no way to understand  
  
Stupid words of pride~*  
  
The kitsune half-heartedly tried to soothe his aching heart. But...it had just been aching so long, he didn't want to try anymore.  
  
He was sick of trying. It never worked out right anyways. So why even bother? Why even care?  
  
Kurama felt his throat burn as an unfamiliar lump made it's presence known. Caring is what had hurt him in the first place. Love had hurt him, yet again.  
  
*~It would take an acrobat  
  
And I already tried all that~*  
  
Why did he have to care so much? He should have known that his lover's pride would get in the way. He should have known...Kurama felt his eyes stinging beneath his eyelids...he should have known he would just get hurt. Like last time. With Kuronue...  
  
Kurama shook his head, another minuscule, bitter smile making it's way onto his face. No...he should have known. If you play with fire, you'll get burned.  
  
*~I'm gonna let him fly...~*  
  
He had begun to suspect. When he didn't respond to Kurama's loving caresses, when he had used to be the one to initiate them. When he began to avoid eye contact, when it used to be him who would lose himself in Kurama's evergreen orbs. When he began to come to Kurama's window only when it was storming, unlike before, when he would come in the middle of a sunny afternoon, and together they would make love that only the most imaginative romantics would dare to fathom. Wen he had said those painful, painful words...  
  
"The kitsune and I are no more than allies! Why would there ever be anything more?"  
  
Kurama winced at the mere memory. The way his lover had said those words...they still cut as sharp as the day he had said them. That was the day that Kurama realized...Hiei didn't love him anymore.  
  
*~Things can move at such a pace  
  
Second hand just waved goodbye  
  
You know the light has left his face  
  
Can't recall just where or why~*  
  
He really should have realized sooner...who could love Youko Kurama, thief of life, hearts, and priceless treasures? As his fire demon-no, not his fire demon-as Hiei had said before they were together...he'd had dozens of lovers. Who could love someone who had given the most precious piece of themself to others so carelessly in the past? Who could love someone so cruel, so heartless as he?  
  
*~There was really nothing to it  
  
I just went and cut right through it  
  
I said "I'm gonna let him fly..."~*  
  
Kurama shook his head, a weak grin of irony playing on his lips. No, he was far from heartless. His pain right now screamed his humanity. And, in that one, brief moment, Kurama wished that he could rid himself of that very virtue.  
  
*~There's no mercy in a live wire No rest at all in freedom  
  
The choice we are given in it  
  
Is no choice at all  
  
Uh huh~*  
  
"Damn that fire demon!" Kurama choked out. "Damn him and his sense of honor! Damn him and his stupid pride! Damn him for stealing my heart!" For Kurama knew that those things caused Hiei to lie to him. Hiei knew that Kurama still loved him. His honor would not allow him to hurt a friend in such a way. And his pride gave it all away.  
  
Those three things made Hiei break Kurama's heart.  
  
*~The proof is in the fire  
  
You touch it before it moves away~*  
  
Kurama let out a shaky sigh, and then realized a wetness on his face. He opened his eyes, touching his hand to his damp cheeks. He...he was crying...  
  
*~But you must always know how long to stay  
  
And when to go...~*  
  
Kurama let the tears flow for a while. It felt...refreshing. As though through these tears...through all of this pain...he was being reborn. And then, he knew...he could let go. He was going to hurt, perhaps for a long while, but, he could do it. He could be strong. If not for himself, then for Hiei.  
  
*~And there ain't no talking to this man  
  
He's been trying to tell me so  
  
It took a while to understand  
  
The beauty of just...letting go...~*  
  
Kurama could feel the familiar youki approaching. He wiped his eyes and straightened up. He would face this with dignity...as he knew Hiei would.  
  
*~Cause it would take an acrobat  
  
And I already tried all that  
  
I'm gonna let him fly~*  
  
Hiei was just about to come to the tree outside of Kurama's bedroom window. And the youko was ready.  
  
*~I'm gonna let him Fly  
  
Fly  
  
Oooh ooh oh oh oh  
  
I'm gonna let him  
  
Fly  
  
Fly~*  
  
There was a tap at the window, and Kurama lost himself in crystalized crimson pools for one last time.  
  
*~OoooOooooh...  
  
I'm...gonna let him...  
  
Fly...~*  
  
~Owari~  
  
*is stunned* For some reason...the last sentence...it just kind of, touches me. Huh...Anyways, that isn't the way I intended that to come out. But, for some reason...this seems better than what I intended. I originally intended it to be a totally different setting, and it would have turned out happy, but...I don't know. I think this one is better.  
  
Chibi Luka: Me too! *is angst driven*  
  
*roll of the eyes* Well, please tell me what you think. I'm not to sure what I think of this yet. 


End file.
